


Sweeter

by Cptkitten



Category: Slayers (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Gen, Humour, Oneshot, amelia-centric, but let's be real, coffee abuse, i love it when amelia and lina work together, i'm biased and everything i write is slightly amelia/zel, it was a boring conversation anyway, no official pairings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 14:51:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10766499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cptkitten/pseuds/Cptkitten
Summary: It's only polite to offer refreshments to your guests. However, while Amelia sits through a boring meeting between Lina and a paranoid baron, she wishes the coffee didn't taste like hot garbage. She tries to be helpful when her friends reach for a cup but no good deed goes unpunished, and misunderstandings are hilarious.





	Sweeter

Amelia nonchalantly managed an itch on her back by shifting her weight gently to the side. This conversation was going in circles but she was prepared to stay as long as Lina deemed necessary. After all, sitting through pointless meetings was something she'd grown used to.

Lina was fiercely haggling with the baron of the township where they were staying. Their group of four- just Amelia, Lina, Gourry, and Zelgadis- was essentially on holiday, wandering across the continent back to Seyruun. In northern Ralteague they had stumbled across this particularly irritating (but rather wealthy) man who felt obliged to hire them for a short time.

Well. He hired Lina, more like. Amelia didn't feel the need to answer to someone who had so forsaken his relationship with the people he was responsible for that he was willing to hire the scariest person he'd ever heard of to advise him on home security. The Lord Foley had fallen out of favor and was desperate to keep his four story mansion on the hill safe from those that bore him ill will. When you really got down to it, he should have been using him time and money repairing what was left of his relations with the townsfolk rather than finding new ways to protect himself from them.

At the moment, Gourry and Zelgadis were doing a walk through of Lord Foley's sizable home. Adding them to this nonsense was allowing Lina to barter more money out of the deal. So far, they had done the only physical work. Lina had spent the last two hours haggling, exaggerating, and full out lying her way into a huge sum of money.

Amelia, being quite accustomed to marathoning all-day diplomatic meetings, had volunteered to stay with Lina and Lord Foley and offer another pair of ears to the dealings. She had come to severely regret this choice. The couch that she and Lina had been offered was an over stuffed and hideously upholstered insult to good furniture. Lina wasn't even on it anymore- she had moved to a cozy looking armchair closer to Lord Foley. They had been repeatedly offered horrible coffee and overly complicated finger food. Amelia restrained a sigh and sent a heartfelt prayer home, begging for the strength to get through the rest of this boring chatter about local tensions and proper compensation without even the relief of a chocolate cookie.

Right at that moment, Gourry and Zelgadis came back into the sitting room. Amelia felt a flutter of joy in that the gods had answered her, sort of. Lina cut off Lord Foley explaining his thoughts on magically sealed roofs. "So, what have we got to work with?"

They sat themselves on the couch with Amelia, as it was the only remaining seat in the room, and Zelgadis began a quick breakdown of the manor. "The door locks are decent, but the window locks above the first floor are cheap and easy to break. Inside doors are all solid wood, but could use better frames..."

Zelgadis noticed the coffee while he was talking and poured himself a cup. Lord Foley listened intently as he continued his summary, but Lina and Amelia watched him go to take a sip from his cup with regret. There was no way to warn him about the thin, bitter crap without insulting the baron. Just as he was about to take a sip, Lina grabbed Lord Foley's attention again.

"You see, these windows in here? They're very big, but not very well supported..." Lord Foley fixed his attention back on Lina just in time to miss Zelgadis choking on his first sip of coffee. He fixed his cup with a look of pure betrayal before setting it down and sliding it away, taking up one of the confusing canapes to try to wash the taste down.

Amelia's heart went out to him. The coffee was really bad. Well, at least, it was different. It was bitter beyond defending. Maybe they liked that in this country? Amelia wasn't sure. She took a sip from her own carefully doctored cup. At least it was keeping her awake.

In setting down the cup, she noticed Zelgadis cringing at her. Oh! He must have thought she was drinking it straight! She supposed he deserved to take a chance with her methods. Amelia caught Lina's eye and gave a sharp look at Zelgadis's coffee cup. Lina gave her a nod before quickly asking Lord Foley, "By the way, where did you get those lovely curtains?"

Lord Foley was a vain man. "Oh, those? You have a good eye for details! I had them brought in from out in the country." He turned his back on the table to gesture at the curtains framing the large window behind him. "Hand made by folk artisans, you see."

As he explained their acquisition, Amelia snatched up the salt from the snack tray and shook a bit into Zelgadis's coffee. His face seemed stuck between surprise and hurt. He turned to her with a sincere questioning look. Gourry, who had also watched this happen, was looking at her like she was a monster.

Amelia suppressed a giggle. As Lord Foley turned back to talk directly at them, she very pointedly held Zelgadis's gaze while she stirred her own coffee and took a sip.

Zelgadis accepted her silent advice hesitantly and stirred his coffee. He took a very cautious sip and immediately perked up. He had another sip and gave her a very grateful smile. Amelia felt her cheeks warm up and nodded back at him. Success!

Gourry, unfortunately, did not understand.

Amelia watched in horror as he took the salt shaker and poured a heap in his own empty cup and filled the rest with coffee. Amelia was shocked that Lord Foley hadn't noticed this, and tried to take advantage of his inattention- thank the moon and all the stars above for Lina and her ability to keep a running dialogue- and very sharply shook her head and brought her hand, flat, against her neck repeatedly. Gourry did not see this. He stirred up his cup of awful and glanced at her for guidance.

Amelia slowly and seriously shook her head "no."

He nodded his head in agreement and took a gulp of his coffee.

Gourry slowly and seriously put his cup back on the table and did not touch it again.

Zelgadis looked like he was going to actually burst out laughing, and Amelia felt the same way. Poor Gourry! He didn't deserved to be laughed at, but this would probably become the highlight of her day. She held it together and diligently put her mind back on the conversation that was happening, which seemed to be reaching a sort of peak.

"I'm not sure I believe you. I've never heard of a reinforced sliding window being opened from the outside." Lord Foley leaned forward, intently listening to Lina.

"Sure it can!" She flipped her hair over her shoulder and started miming something out. "All you need is something really thin and just long enough, and you just... pop! The pane comes free and in comes Mister Burglar!" Lina looked around the room. "Have you got a metal drawing ruler somewhere? I could show you."

Lord Foley thought for a moment and then hopped out of his seat. "As a matter of fact, I do! Here, let's go get it and you can show me, I really MUST see this..."

All in a flurry, Lord Foley and Lina headed out of the room to practice breaking and entering. On the way out, Lina popped her head back in the room. "This'll only take a minute, you guys don't wander off, okay? Amelia, if you see a maid, ask for better snacks." She then disappeared with the sharp click of the door being shut.

Amelia immediately found herself the center of attention. Both Zelgadis and Gourry turned to her with very different expressions.

"Amelia, how did you do that with salt?"

"Amelia, how could you be so cruel?!"

The young woman in question started laughing so hard that she needed the help of the arm of the couch to stay upright. She tried to get a hold of herself but accidentally looked at Gourry, who still looked horrified, and fell further into hilarity.

"I- I'm sorry, Mister Gourry, I tried- I tried to stop you..." Amelia did her best to force down her laughter. "I'm so sorry. That must have tasted awful. Here, try some of mine, it might help." She shakily pushed her cup toward him.

Gourry didn't even look at it. "Amelia, why in the world would you do that to Zelgadis? Salt in his coffee? I thought you were a good kid!" He had on his best "disappointed older brother" face and despite her intentions, it was making her feel guilty.

"Now hold on, Gourry." Zelgadis interjected. "I understand how it looks, but it actually helped. This coffee is terrible, but the little bit of salt that she put in my cup... changed it? It cut right through the bitterness and made it tolerable." He offered his cup to Gourry. "Honestly, try some."

Gourry still looked distrustful. Zelgadis almost had to push the cup into his hands to get him to take it. Even then, he eyed it with distaste.

"It's really okay, Mister Gourry. I promise!" Amelia was glad that Zelgadis was on her side, because she now actually felt bad that her friend was so hurt by this.

He must have trusted them both enough, though, because Gourry took a quick sip from Zelgadis's cup. His eyebrows jumped and his entire demeanor shifted. "Oh." He drank a bit more. "Hmm. Did I just really overdo it?"

Amelia nodded. "Yes, you kind of did. Would you like me to make you another cup?"

Gourry handed Zelgadis his back and then blithely dumped his own swill into the baron's currently empty cup. "Yes, please."

She kept a straight face and started doctor up a fresh cup. "So, coffee is a fairly popular drink in many places around the world, and different cultures prepare their coffee in many different ways. For example, in Seyruun we serve it hot and sweet. Southern Elmekia serves theirs over ice. Some places in Zefielia have a different brewing method that makes the coffee incredibly strong, so the serving size is much smaller. And then, SOME places..." she handed Gourry the carefully crafted beverage, "make their coffee like this. I'm not quite sure if it's made with less water or if it's left on the heat for too long, but I've discovered that a sprinkle of salt will help counteract the acidic flavor. The real trick is getting salt in your cup without anyone noticing and taking offense."

They heard Lina and Lord Foley approaching before they actually opened the door. All three of them put on their best innocent faces while Lina led him in, gesturing wildly with the drawing ruler. "... And that is why window locks are important. Any clod with the right stick can shimmy up your wall and break in, easy peasy. Speaking of which, how attached are you to those flower trellises outside? That's a hell of an easy way to make it as high as the third floor."

Lord Foley trailed after her with a shell shocked expression as if she'd shown him some sort of dark secrets, instead of just how easy it was to jimmy a window. "My roses?" he mumbled. "I like my roses..."

Lina subtly herded him back to his chair. "I know, serious security can be a bummer. You can either knock down the roses or I can make a spell that will make the trellis impossible to climb, but that might take some serious labor."

"I see." Oh, the poor man was starting to understand what he'd gotten himself into. Hiring Lina was a very sweetly scented trap. She was an incredible sorceress, but her specialty was padding the bill. Lord Foley sank into his chair. "I suppose I don't truly need my... " he sniffed back a tear, "...award winning Tiffany roses."

Amelia, Gourry, and Zelgadis all jerked forward as the baron suddenly reached for his cup and took a big gulp. Lina looked at them in askance, but turned back to the baron and joined them in watching his eyebrows shoot up on his forehead. He stared down at his cup in complete shock. Amelia was just about to cave in and confess, when...

"My goodness, this coffee is superb. I'll need to have a chat with the kitchen staff about making it like this more often."

It would take Lina a full thirty minutes to calm down her apparently insane friends from their bouts of hysterics.


End file.
